Guiding Principles of Conscious Parenting

While we want to use our inner compass to keep ourselves on course, it also helps to know where we’re going. For that, a road map is essential, and for ours, we’ll be using eight guiding principles of conscious parenting.

Principle 1:

All behavior is a communication. Behavior reflects the internal state of the individual and the relationship’s level of connection.

Principle 2:

The parent-child relationship is more important than any behavioral intervention, consequence, or punishment.

Principle 3:

Children unfold neurosequentially, and quality, connected relationships allow for the unfolding. A need met will go away; a need unmet is here to stay.

Principle 4:

Behaviors occur on a continuum. Behaviors in children (and parents, too) correlate to the parents’ own neurodevelopment and attachment status.

Principle 5:

Parental interpretation of behaviors comes from both a conscious and subconscious place, resulting in positive or negative neurophysiologic feedback loops.

Principle 6:

All individuals have a right and a responsibility to learn to express their feelings appropriately. Feelings allow us to connect to our internal guidance system.

Principle 7:

Children need boundaries. We can set appropriate limits for our children while still respecting their needs and feelings—if we are aware of ourselves. (We can ask, for example, “Is this about me? Is this about them? Are my children communicating a need? Is the boundary I’m setting necessary, or is this situation an opportunity for me to grow?”)

Principle 8:

No man is an island. We need to create communities of support for ourselves and for our children. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our children.

Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally Healthy Families and Consciously Parenting 101 Course (free with the purchase of this course) both take an in-depth look at each of these principles, explaining how we currently view situations and how to start making the shift toward loving connection. Those who are just starting this journey will be able to start creating connection with their children from the beginning. But no matter where you currently are on the road, you can start to change from disconnection to loving connection.