What is a Healthy Relationship? Safety and Boundaries for ALL!

Healthy relationships are safe.

Safe means, at its most basic level, that there is no physical, emotional, sexual, or verbal abuse.

But it also means that you’re not on high alert expecting something bad to happen. 

Safe is when your body, brain and nervous system are able to relax. It is not just about surviving- your heart is beating, you’re breathing, you have food to eat and a roof over your head. It’s about openness and thriving. You’re not waiting for the next shoe to drop so you can defend yourself. You’re not walking on eggshells avoiding upsetting someone.

You can be fully yourself.

You can express yourself in ways that respect others needs and feelings. 

You can express your full range of feelings without hurting yourself or anyone else.

You know your own story and have a good idea of what happened to you so that you aren’t unconsciously repeating it.

You know your own story and have been seen, heard, and felt so there is room to see another person’s story and experience.

You’re able to say when something isn’t working for you in a respectful way.

You’re able to own when you have harmed someone else with your words or deeds and you know how to come back into connection. 

Healthy relationships don’t imply perfection, but they do require reconnection.

Take a deep breath right now.

One of the primary things we’re going to working on is repair, learning to reconnect with ourselves and with one another. These are the basic skills we all need, but were never taught.

We’re in this together. Let’s heal together!

Thoughts to Ponder:

Which relationships do you have in your life that have felt safe to you?

Which relationships feel or have felt unsafe to you?

In your safe relationships, where were the boundaries? What was predictable about those relationships and their communication?

In your unsafe relationships, where were the boundaries? What was unpredictable about those relationships and their communication?