Why we're here together :-)

First, I'm so glad you're here! Welcome!!

(If you want to watch or listen to this message, scroll down for the video and audio.)

Parenting older kids has always been near and dear to my heart. When I was a public elementary school teacher over 20 years ago, I wanted to teach the 5th graders. I loved that age! And yet, so many of the parents of those same kids didn't love it. But I found them to be so creative, excited to learn when engaged with, and sweet in their own ways. One of my favorite parts of teaching was meeting with the parents to talk about what I saw in their kids. This is when I knew I needed to get out of teaching, actually, since all my colleagues hated that part. I loved working with the parents, maybe more than working with the kids. (And I loved being with the kids, just not all the administrative stuff that went along with teaching public school.)

When my kids were little, I wanted to understand the big picture of parenting. How was what I was doing when my kids were little going to impact them when they were bigger? I found this big chasm between parenting information that talked to parents with little ones and the parenting information that was speaking to parents of older kids and teens. But it's a continuum, right? And what happens earlier impacts what happens later, right? I couldn't find any good information about it. All the information about parenting older kids and teens felt really harsh. It wasn't what I wanted to do. And I really wanted to do things differently than our society does with our growing teens and young adults, but I wasn't sure what to do or how to do it.

I discovered that, yes, the things we do early matter. Our relationships with our kids start even before conception and we grow together, for better or worse, as our kids grow. At the same time, our kids have their own life, their own path, and their own experience of what we do. And it's their perception of it that matters the most, the story they tell themselves about what happened or didn't happen that we can work with in the present time. And it's the relationship we have right now that matters. And our relationship now is what we can change, at least our part in it.

And that's what this course is all about. It's about understanding the bigger picture of what's happening with our children. It's about understanding our role as a support to guide them towards a deeper understanding of themselves so they can find their own way. It's about stepping in with boundaries when they're needed and allowing room for mistakes and feelings so they can grow. It isn't about you taking responsibility for your teen in every way, but in being there as a layer of support for them so they can take responsibility for themselves.

Welcome to the journey! My wish for you is that each time you come into this course, you will find something practical that you can take with you back into your relationship to help it feel more connected. Sometimes that will be boundaries. Sometimes that will be information to see things from a new perspective. Sometimes it will be a tool to apply to yourself or to teach your teen. Raising teens can be really fun and rewarding and I hope that you're able to find joy in your relationship with just a little bit of support!

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